How to minimize your silent to-do list and distractions at home
The silent to do list is a concept that minimalist Fumio Sasaki mentioned in his book Goodbye, Things. He says that the more possessions we have, the less we can concentrate on what matters to us – because our things constantly send us silent messages.
Why minimizing the silent to-do list is important
Our brains have been conditioned to scan our surroundings for everything that needs to be fixed or straightened out.
All of our possessions want to be cared for, and every time we see them these silent to do list tasks pop up in our minds.
Unfinished projects
Cluttered areas
A messy desk
A pair of pants that needs a pocket fix
Our silent to-do list adds to our emotional labor.
Research shows that on average, a messy home has a bigger impact on women than it does on men – because throughout life women are held to a higher standard of cleanliness and tidyness which is why our brains are rigged to pay attention and do something about it.
It’s not that men can’t see all the things that need to be done, they just care less because they have not been conditioned to care as much as women do. Their brains don’t set off as strong alarm bells as women’s do, on average.
My theory is that even when we don’t tackle those silent tasks in the moment, we still spend energy and focus on that thing – which leads us to lose out on time too because it takes a while for us to focus back on what we wanted to focus on.
This is why it’s so important to try and minimize the number of silent to-do tasks in our environment.
Our silent to-do list can be harmful
Not only does our silent to do list distract us, but it is causing negative feelings. Guilt, frustration, and maybe even feelings of being inadequate.
So – I came up with 5 steps to try and minimize silent to do lists, or emotional labor, in my home:
Step 1. Declutter
Having less possessions means having less things that are asking for your attention.
Step 2. Decide a spot for everything
When everything has a place, they won’t catch your attention unless you want them to.
Step 3. Put things back where they belong after use
Putting things away after you’re done using them makes sure that they’re not setting off alarm bells for you every time you see them still sitting out. If you’re having trouble putting things away just after using them, maybe spend 5-15 minutes before bed putting things into their own spots.
Step 4. Keep unfinished things somewhere out of sight
I used to keep things IN SIGHT to make sure I don’t forget – but keeping them in sight meant that I saw them several times a day on occasions that I really did not have time to work on them, and they would steal away my focus from what I needed to pay attention to.
Don’t worry, the next step will make sure that they get done:
Step 5. Plan things you need to do into your schedule
Whether that’s fixing a pocket, picking up a prescription, filing taxes – put all of it into your schedule so that you don’t forget about those things and you’ll know exactly when you’re going to tackle those things – that will clear up so much space in our brain.
