R.U.L.E.S. for a schedule you’ll enjoy
Because everyone is different and everyone has different circumstances, we all need personalized solutions to our time and task management, which means that we shouldn’t think every cookie-cutter system will work for us.
There are some general guidelines that we can lean on, though, so that we can within those guidelines create a schedule or daily rhythms and routines that we enjoy.
Anyone can keep these “rules” in mind as they plan their days and weeks – whether they work with me or not. They’re not rule-rules, as much as they are the beliefs I have around what is important for having a schedule you enjoy.
R – what’s realistic and right for you is sustainable
Realistic
We have a tendency to overestimate (or underestimate) what we can do in a day. Taking some time to map out what your weekly schedule looks like will help you see how much time you have available to you – and plan accordingly.
My weekly task list template has five checkbox slots per day. Two for more important tasks that I can knock off when I have energy and focus in the morning, two for less important things that I can usually get done in the afternoon even if I’m not that focused or energetic, and one slot for self care at the top.
Sometimes I finish early, sometimes they take longer and I can’t get them done that day, but on average they tend to work out. If I know from experience that something will take longer I don’t fill up all the slots.
Right for you
We spend so much time comparing ourselves to others, and thinking that we gotta do all the things everyone else is doing. But if we do what everyone else does, we gather a whole lot of stuff to do that cannot realistically fit the life of just one person.
We’ve grown up in this society where there are lots of expectations that we’re supposed to meet and shoulds we’re supposed to do – or at least we perceive that we’re supposed to meet these expectations and should do the things. It’s easy to lose touch with what would actually feel right and good for us, and what’s realistic for us considering our limits, resources and capacity.
But I promise that it’s possible for you to figure it out, and I do think that we are all capable of more than we give ourselves credit for. Heck I actually think we aren’t giving ourselves enough credit for what we’re doing already.
U – understand what’s behind how you feel and act
Lots of coaches are talking about mindset blocks, limiting beliefs, and self-sabotage – but they don’t talk about the fact that those things aren’t about you, the core you, somehow failing on purpose or choosing these negative thoughts.
They are actually the result of your nervous system, your brain trying to protect you from stress based on experiences you’ve acquires so far in your life.
This instinct is especially strong when basic needs aren’t fulfilled, for example when you’re not getting enough sleep or not moving your body daily.
Understanding why you feel a certain way allows you to be gentler with yourself when things don't go as you'd like them to, which enables you to be more flexible too.
How you feel is a symptom – not the problem. When you find the problem, you can course-correct and get closer to what feels right for you.
L – look for opportunities for changes
When we think that there’s no other way, that things have to be a certain way, that we have to be (or that we are) a certain way – it gets practically impossible for your brain to notice opportunities that are right in front of you.
But if you remember to stay open, remember to not speak in absolutes – and switch up your language to be more hopeful, that can change how your mind interprets your environment and opportunities.
If you catch yourself saying “I never have time for self care”, you can shift it to “I will look out for pockets of time when I might have time for self care today”.
I generally advise my clients that the small changes, the small shifts are such good opportunities because they’re easier to fit into our lives and they’re easier to stick to. But Dr. Kyra Bobinet has found that what’s most important for sticking to new habits and routines isn’t as tied to how small or big the change is, but the fact that you keep a mindset that it’s ok to iterate on those things.
This brings me to the next letter –
E – take it all as an experiment
Leave self-judgment at the door and stay curious about when things don’t go according to plan.
What can I learn from this?
What are my feelings telling me?
Like an experimenter, allow yourself to keep tweaking and adjusting based on what you experience.
S – schedule your priorities
We have a tendency to schedule our commitments and responsibilities that have to do with other people, while we leave self-care and personal projects, activities, and tasks to be done in the margins of everything else. This often leads to us not getting to do those things, because we feel like there isn’t enough time in between our other responsibilities. So always schedule some of your priorities into your week before scheduling everything else.
Recap
R – what’s realistic and right for you is best
U – understanding how you act and feel
L – look for opportunities
E – allow yourself to experiment
S – schedule your priorities
I really hope that this helps you see how you can follow certain guidelines to create a schedule (and life) you enjoy, without feeling like you have to follow strict rules.